What a Year!

Gosh! What a year! 

Full of frustration, difficulty, pain, stress, disappointments and failure. I acted foolishly, moved too fast, was ripped off and abandoned. Took 1 step forward and 5 steps back. I failed God, was angry at God, stopped praying, stopped reading His word, stopped going to church. Serving Him just did not make sense. My theology went out the window. I felt left in the dark and rather stayed at home mostly questioning the very foundation I stand on.

Here is the odd thing, in my valley of frustration, strangers ministered to me. They encouraged me to pray again, to read again, to trust again, to hope again. I wanted nothing to do with God but He remained faithful, constantly using every opportunity to draw me back to Himself.

I admit to have hurt/cutoff people this year, no amount of apology can take away what I have done and I have to live with this. Regret is a cancer. It eats you alive from the inside, until you come to terms with forgiving yourself and making amends with those you have wronged.

I have spent a lot of time with myself thinking, reflecting, meditating and having to deal with the darkness within. Mercy! Mercy! Has become my outcry.

Life has a way of messing you over even if your are innocent and I think that is a tough pill to swallow. Undeserved pain is a real thing, and it even becomes worse when there are no answers as to why tragedy strikes.

What solace? What comfort, What relief for those who have been dealt with a bad hand? My friend, I pray for you, I cry with you, I grief with you. Hang in there.

You will be Nxa!

You will be Okay!

It will all makes sense when the dust settles. Hope for a better tomorrow, protect your heart from becoming bitter.

Onward to a meaningful New Year.