Please don't leave me here!

God saved me at the ripe age of 14. June 11 this year marked 14 years of walking with the Lord. Looking back, I can only say, "Time flies when you are having fun."

After leaving home in 2013, I found myself returning to live with my parents just to get back on my feet. A lot has changed in my childhood neighborhood. All of my friends have grown as I have, but there is a distinguishing factor between us. They still continue in the lifestyle we learned growing up. A very detrimental lifestyle.

When I got saved, I would invite them to church and couldn't understand why they did not want to commit to Christ. I wondered what was so difficult. I concluded they were just God-hating heathens willingly opposing the truth. This was partly true but negatively affected the way I saw people in general.

I used to look at people struggling in life and wonder why they didn't just do this or that to get their lives together. Why were they allowing themselves to suffer like this? I mean, it had been years of difficulty - weren't they tired of living this way?

I never understood their struggle and addiction until I was in their shoes. Before I got saved, I did not wrestle with serious sin, and there was not much to be delivered from. I thought other believers were just too worldly or unspiritual to be struggling with this or that. I thought they should just pray and overcome.

However, a few years down the road, due to some bad choices, I was caught in a spider's web - a dilemma I just could not get out of. I knew what I was doing was wrong, but stopping was a different war. I could not turn to God for help because I was so ashamed. I could not turn to my friends because I was hurting them. And I could not enjoy the sin because I knew too much truth - a terrible threefold problem. Every night, I would stare at the ceiling wondering when this cycle of sin would end. I remember praying to God, "Father, please don't leave me here! Please don't leave me here. I don't like this but I don't know how to stop. Please don't leave me here" This was all I could pray, with tears running down my face. It was a prayer for mercy in a helpless situation.

There is great despair when you are far from God. I felt that thick black wall of separation from my Creator. It is not the fires of hell that I fear; it is the hopelessness, knowing you are in an awful place and that God is not coming to save you. I believe this is the real definition of Hell.

When I was delivered from this cycle of sin, my heart toward those struggling became softer. I saw them with grace and ministered to them with care and prayer. I have been where they are, felt their pain, and fought their battles. I have been the struggling Christian. I have been the addicted Christian. I have been the compromising Christian. I have been the sinning Christian, and I have been the hypocrite. If we don't throw ourselves at the feet of Jesus and cry for mercy and help, we deceive ourselves.

When you are in a helpless situation, pray this: "Father, please don't leave me there. Please don't leave me here."

Desire vs God

There is competition for our attention; every minute, someone or something is seeking to capture and win our minds for themselves, to bend our will to a certain agenda, to a particular cause. "Buy this, believe that, go here, not there" – peer pressure is real, and nobody can say they are independent of these forces. Why you dress the way you do, speak the way you do, or think the way you do is due to some level of external influence. 

Last year, I fell for the Red Pillers; I mean, they appealed to every desire that I had. The shared experience, the go-getter mindset, make-money, get-women, and live the life of a king – the idea of a monogamous lifestyle just did not make sense anymore. Although this did not materialize, the way I spoke began to change, conforming to this new narrative of money and relationships. I was caught between two worlds: one was my experience and what appealed to my natural instinct, and the other was what I saw being portrayed in my church community. I saw solid, monogamous families and was surrounded by them almost everywhere I went, but when I returned to my room, I was faced with the reality of my situation and was sucked in by the Red Pillers. I felt like my brain was short-circuiting whenever this issue came to mind.

I continuously wrestled with my desires or God's way, my experience versus the truth, the former carrying so much weight fueled by the mass media of the age, but a tug was pulling in the opposing direction, calling me not to lean on my experience or my own understanding. A War of Worlds it is.

I end with this;

"For the weapons of my warfare are not flesh and blood, but they are mighty through God, to the pulling down of strongholds and casting down imaginations and every high thing that tries to exalt itself against the knowledge of Christ. I bring them all captive to obey him.

To all my desires, no matter how liberating they may seem, to all my imaginations, no matter how innocent they may be. To all my experiences that try to shape my beliefs, no matter how valid and justifiable actions they may evoke. Every worldview, every ideology that I subscribe to – I submit to the revealed will and word of Christ. May all that I hold dear bow in obedience to Jesus. All must bow before his feet, for he is worthy of a life surrendered unto him, holy and set apart. For this is my reasonable service unto him."

These things take time

Over the past 2 years, I have rather become a workaholic. Energy drinks, upon energy drinks, have been keeping me on the grind late into the night and sometimes till sunrise. "What am I working on?" you may ask. Well, that's a story for another day, lol.

One Saturday afternoon, after much work, as I was driving, I experienced a battery failure, and my uncle came to tow me home. I was not happy and became very frustrated as the entire process took so much of my time, which I would have spent doing something productive. We arrived home, and as I was removing items from the car, I knocked my head on the rear door frame. It hurt so bad that I held my head, and my uncle, who was standing by, heard the bang and came to comfort me. "Son, why are you in such a hurry with everything?" he asked. I sunk into the back seat and began to cry, not because of the pain in my head, but because I felt like a complete failure. Everything I have worked on to this point has not produced any results. Things took so much time, and I was burning money pouring into a business I believed in. Down to my last dollar, and that was it. I went straight to bed, and the weeping did not stop. I cried and cried my soul out. What am I doing wrong? Why does it seem so impossible to break through after more than 2 years of hard work?

I will answer this question in a few with another story to bring it home.

A friend recently took me out. We had a good conversation, and afterwards, he walked me to the parking lot and asked me to guess which was his new car. Afterwards, he pressed a button, and a luxury car unlocked in front of me. My eyes popped wide open, and I genuinely began to celebrate him for his achievement. I mean, he has really worked hard for this and deserves every bit of his new car and much more. He drove and I sat there as a co-pilot in this beast of a machine, "Respect the Beama". There were so many buttons and lights around me, and I smiled like a little kid in a candy room. 

That night I sat outside drinking some coffee, staring down at the city lights, which has become my form of meditation. I thought to myself, when will it be my time? When will I see the fruits of my labour? It was dead quiet, and as a whisper, a thought came to my mind, “These Things Take Time”. I felt so much relief as I sat there softly saying those words. A weight was lifted from my shoulders.

Just because things are taking longer than you expect, it does not mean that your dreams are dead and unachievable. Some dreams take more time to materialise, therefore do not chuck them. You should be happy that good things take time because you are not just building something to come and go on a whim. Rome was not built in a day; I know it is a cliché, but know this: Your vision and your dreams will take time, and I pray that you will be steadfast until they materialise. If it is important to you, if it is meaningful, it is truly worth the hard work and wait because; - THESE THINGS TAKE TIME -

How do they do it?

If you have read a good range of my blog posts, you will notice that I began as an unconventional writer who writes on issues of difficulty. In fact, getting things off my chest is what made me enter the blogging space, and this post is no different, so bear with me as I explore an interesting thought.

I read a quote that caught my eye. It said, "I'm in Spain, but the S is silent." I believe a lot of people are in such a situation. They sleep with pain, wake up with pain, and struggle through the day facing this Goliath. Humans in pain automatically look for a solution or a coping mechanism, and sometimes to their own detriment.

I too am in "S"pain and have been there for a while now. Yep, I smile, I laugh, and the view is good to the onlooker, but when I am alone, Goliath stands tall in front of me, reminding me of my past and how I will never find freedom and healing. Flip, it's a tough one; it's hell down here. I look around, and all I see is fear, insecurity, and a sense of doubt, a dark hole dangling self-deletion at the end.

That's when I remembered something, "Greater is He who lives in me than the Goliath who stands before." It hit me like sunlight from a dark night. This is what changed everything, and today I live with the excitement of what God will do with the sling and Stone I have. The situation has not changed, but I now have a comforter in my boat, who feels and relates to everything I'm going through.

I see loved ones try to drown Goliath with alcohol and pleasure, but Goliath cannot be drowned. He can only be defeated with the Stone. By Stone, I am referring to Jesus, the Chief Cornerstone, and for the life of me, I fail to understand how many do it without Jesus. It is too complex, difficult, and frustrating to live without Jesus, who is the Way, the Truth, and the Life, the Comforter, and the Prince of Peace.

The one you ignore, the one you reject is the one who holds your healing from pain.

So if you wake up in the morning and are in "S"pain, try Jesus, try Jesus.

The Side Hustle

 

Having a Job is great but at times it just does not cut the bill, and that's where the Side Hustle comes in. A Side Hustle is any activity that brings in extra cash to support your daily life. There is a biblical text that speaks about how everyone should have a Side Hustle. Ecclesiastes 11:6-10 "Sow your seed in the morning, and at evening let your hands not be idle, for you do not know which will succeed, whether this or that, or whether both will do equally well." Here is a local version "8-5 is your day Job, after work you Hustle".

A Side Hustle is not an aimless pursuit of cash, but it is an intentional action you do in exchange for money. With each day we are given 24 hours to make something out of, you don't get an extra 5 nor do I. What can you do after hours or on the weekends that can bring in cash flow? Everyone can do something, away with the thinking that you can't do anything. Those limiting beliefs about yourself are stopping you from financial independence.

Short of ideas? Here is a list of some Side Hustles you can start with little to no cash.

Product based

• Sell eggs
• Sell bale clothing or shoes
• Sell perfume
• Sell mobile phones or accessories
• Sell cookies
• Sell decorative plants
• Sell earrings or necklaces

Services based

• Update computer hardware/software
• Do photography
• Create logos/graphics/videos
• Babysit
• Take people's dogs for a walk
• Give body massages
• Do manicures and pedicures
• Do lashes
• Drive Yango / inDrive
• Plate hair
• Build apps

If you are good at programming or IT-related stuff, you can create a poster and paste it at University campuses letting them know you offer assistance in Programming or IT. Trust me, those 1st-year students will run to you as their messiah. Some of you spend hours counselling people's relationships over the phone. It is time you start charging them for your valuable advice. I mean it is your time, brain, experience, and energy going into this, better cash in real fast.

Respect the Hustle

There is a famous statement "Job is Job" by Meisie Willemse from the Namibian movie #LandoftheBrave. I say "Hustle is Hustle" and money does not discriminate its source. Pick n Pay does not care whether your money comes from selling braai plates or from forex. They just accept your payment as legal tender and give the goods. Don't get caught up in finding a Side Hustle that is cool or popular. Rather think about what you can do and what the people (market) need. You don't even have to enjoy your Side Hustle, aim at providing quality products or services and cash in from day 1.

If I want to sell eggs, I don't need to love doing it, I just need to get the eggs to my customers, and make my zak. Simple! No matter how small or uncool, don't be ashamed of your Hustle. I know of people who hold high-profile jobs yet sell bale clothes on the side. Your Side Hustle is your Side Hustle, no shame in that.

Dont Compare

Remember that your Side Hustle is different from my Side Hustle and that's perfectly normal. What I do is not what you can or want to do, pick your area and run with it. You are different and uniquely positioned to reach customers I will never be able to reach.

It's your Zak

After you have made that mula, it's only fair that you chop it nice nice. Do your hair and nails my gal, boss go chills with the big boys.

What are some of the things that you could cover with your Side Hustle every month?

• Aweh
• Hair & nails
• Taxi/juice
• Savings
• Chillouts

For those of you who are churchgoers, I'm certain the Lord will be happy when you give offerings from your Side Hustle.

These items seem minimal, but add up the cost and your Side Hustle will be lifting about 2k from your shoulders each month. If you don't have a Side Hustle yet, it is time you grow up and do what adults do, Start Your Side Hustle.

The Pursuit of Happiness

 

We all want to be happy, is that not so? 

What does that even mean? How does being happy look like? Is it a life void of struggle? Is it swimming in a pool of constant pleasure? "If I get this or that, it will make me happy". Why is it that after much pursuit and acquiring that very thing, we tend to feel empty? What then is the hype about?

I believe my generation is obsessed with pursuing happiness, a thing they don't understand. I too wrestle with this concept, so count me in.

Webster defines happiness as a state of well-being and contentment: joy, a pleasurable or satisfying experience. Okay, let's play devil's advocate and go with Webster's definition. My question would be, at what cost? At what cost can we say that one should pursue happiness?

If happiness is such a good thing, why does it often lead to the detriment of the pursuer? A druggie believes getting high will make him happy. The lonely soul believes the next relationship will make her happy. Do we even know what we want? Or could it be that the pursuit of happiness is deeply flawed? It is quite interesting that Jesus, the master teacher, never taught us to pursue happiness. If that were the case, he would have mentioned it.

Popular culture says, "Do what makes you happy." Okay, I now have more questions. What if the thing that makes you happy causes pain and death to others? Are the atrocities of Hitler, Stalin, and Khan justified if they did what made them happy? God forbid!

Yeah, Yeah, Denzel, so what's the alternative?

A good study of history tells us that we are the generation that has it the easiest, yet we are most depressed and aimless. Looking at how our ancestors lived, it seems they had a sense of purpose and lived fuller lives despite the troubles of their age. Compare that to what we have today. Young men lost without a cause to die for. What is there for them to die for, anyway? A sex appeal car and a bottle of whiskey to get the girls? Flip, what a way to live. A change of perspective is needed in that regard.

Okay, back to the alternative. Well, here you go.

1. Get your life in order.
2. Find a cause to live and die for, a cause outside of self-gratification.
3. Help others get their lives in order.

I believe that The Pursuit of Service begets a much fulfilling life.

Yep, there it is. Serve - Serve - Serve others.

Love and Peace

What a Year 2023

Gosh! What a year! 

Full of frustration, difficulty, pain, stress, disappointments and failure. I acted foolishly, moved too fast, was ripped off and abandoned. Took 1 step forward and 5 steps back. I failed God, was angry at God, stopped praying, stopped reading His word, stopped going to church. Serving Him just did not make sense. My theology went out the window. I felt left in the dark and rather stayed at home mostly questioning the very foundation I stand on.

Here is the odd thing, in my valley of frustration, strangers ministered to me. They encouraged me to pray again, to read again, to trust again, to hope again. I wanted nothing to do with God but He remained faithful, constantly using every opportunity to draw me back to Himself.

I admit to have hurt/cutoff people this year, no amount of apology can take away what I have done and I have to live with this. Regret is a cancer. It eats you alive from the inside, until you come to terms with forgiving yourself and making amends with those you have wronged.

I have spent a lot of time with myself thinking, reflecting, meditating and having to deal with the darkness within. Mercy! Mercy! Has become my outcry.

Life has a way of messing you over even if your are innocent and I think that is a tough pill to swallow. Undeserved pain is a real thing, and it even becomes worse when there are no answers as to why tragedy strikes.

What solace? What comfort, What relief for those who have been dealt with a bad hand? My friend, I pray for you, I cry with you, I grief with you. Hang in there.

You will be Nxa!

You will be Okay!

It will all makes sense when the dust settles. Hope for a better tomorrow, protect your heart from becoming bitter.

Onward to a meaningful 2024.