Desire vs God

There is competition for our attention; every minute, someone or something is seeking to capture and win our minds for themselves, to bend our will to a certain agenda, to a particular cause. "Buy this, believe that, go here, not there" – peer pressure is real, and nobody can say they are independent of these forces. Why you dress the way you do, speak the way you do, or think the way you do is due to some level of external influence. 

Last year, I fell for the Red Pillers; I mean, they appealed to every desire that I had. The shared experience, the go-getter mindset, make-money, get-women, and live the life of a king – the idea of a monogamous lifestyle just did not make sense anymore. Although this did not materialize, the way I spoke began to change, conforming to this new narrative of money and relationships. I was caught between two worlds: one was my experience and what appealed to my natural instinct, and the other was what I saw being portrayed in my church community. I saw solid, monogamous families and was surrounded by them almost everywhere I went, but when I returned to my room, I was faced with the reality of my situation and was sucked in by the Red Pillers. I felt like my brain was short-circuiting whenever this issue came to mind.

I continuously wrestled with my desires or God's way, my experience versus the truth, the former carrying so much weight fueled by the mass media of the age, but a tug was pulling in the opposing direction, calling me not to lean on my experience or my own understanding. A War of Worlds it is.

I end with this;

"For the weapons of my warfare are not flesh and blood, but they are mighty through God, to the pulling down of strongholds and casting down imaginations and every high thing that tries to exalt itself against the knowledge of Christ. I bring them all captive to obey him.

To all my desires, no matter how liberating they may seem, to all my imaginations, no matter how innocent they may be. To all my experiences that try to shape my beliefs, no matter how valid and justifiable actions they may evoke. Every worldview, every ideology that I subscribe to – I submit to the revealed will and word of Christ. May all that I hold dear bow in obedience to Jesus. All must bow before his feet, for he is worthy of a life surrendered unto him, holy and set apart. For this is my reasonable service unto him."